Review of 2013

Actually, not so much of a review as a bit of a ramble.

I've been living inside my own head for a few days. The reviews for 'Alien Christmas' really upset me - like, unable to write upset me.  There's no point in going on a long diatribe as to why they've upset me - I'm pretty sure that anyone who's created anything and had to read/listen to other people's views on it will get it - the need to defend and explain that in the end won't make any difference to the reviews you've already got and could prejudice anything for the future. So, suffice it to say that I've had to promise Stripelessz that I won't go off into a fit of depression over every negative review or consider it the end of my writing career as I know it.

I write because I need to. I write what I like, what I enjoy, what I would want to read. And there are going to be people who like it and people who don't. I'm loving writing fanfic at the moment but I also have about four different original stories that I would like to finish and maybe send off to be considered and I won't do that if I keep living in my head.

On a private note, we might be getting a flat which means packing up a four bedroom Victorian house and moving to a small three bedroom flat. Better for us financially and security-wise, but still going to make the next couple of months busy, full of hassle and financially draining in the first instance. I want to make sure I keep writing but I need to start weeding through my stuff - dvds, books, clothes, etc - and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. I did it 18 months ago but there is still so much stuff there. I need to let go of the past - anything not used/worn in the last 18 months needs to go - gulp!

Christmas was lovely as I spent it surrounded by various members of family. I've not been as sick either - at the moment, it's just a slight throat infection, lightheadedness and a temperature so for me, pretty darn good.

I have an idea for my first taming the muse for this week - the prompt is Cox swain which I must admit made my head spin in several directions as I debated dropping out of the entire thing as I tried to figure out how I was going to shoe-horn that into anything I'm in the middle of writing. The first one is going to be a complete one-shot because getting coxswain into any of my current stories may be above my capabilities!!

It's back to being me, Striplessz and Gidget at home which is good - school starts next week, and there are hospital appointments at the end of this week. I think we're all going through variations of coming down from Christmas so we're living in jimjams and trying to be nice to each other. Can't ask for a better start to the year than that.

Resolutions:
* prove that getting a story published wasn't a fluke;
* stop melting down at every negative review - a work in slow progress;
* finish 'Parental Units' and accept that it may well be one of the last bits of Spander fanfic that I write. I need to finish 'Refuge' with The Lady and I signed up for 'Spangel Rekindled' at the end of January but I think that's pretty much it.
* get back into Atkins and lose some weight.

Hmm, they may be a tad weighted in the writing department - can I consider them as personal growth or do I need to look at other areas of my life too? If you've made it to the end of this, well done on wading through my crap!

I wish you a lovely end to 2013 and hope your 2014 brings you everything you truly need and desire.

S x

Merry freakin' Christmas aka...

...don't visit your book on Amazon unless you've prepared yourself! Very quiet day as no kids and this evening ended up on Amazon. I didn't even realise 'Alien Christmas' would be on there - yes, I really am that unaware. Unfortunately for me, the first review is a bad one - like, they found the story laughable type of bad. I read the review a couple of times and let it sit with me. Then, once I'd got over the urge to submerge my face in a vat of ice cream, I decided it was one person's view. And everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

 I won't say it didn't hurt because heck yeah, to have your first ever published story described as laughable is a hit to the ego, but I knew there would be bad reviews - you can't please everyone. And it's the first story so it isn't going to be perfect. I have to trust in the friends who give me their (direct) honest opinion that it's a good story - it can't be that bad otherwise no publisher would have picked it up! So, big girl pants on and move along.

 On other news, I got some money as a Christmas present so I think I will hit the shops when I get the kids back. Treat myself to something nice, although since my idea of a nice self-present is an Arc writing book from Staples and I already have one in every colour they have, I may have to broaden my range a little.

 I've finished one Taming for the week but still have 500 words to write by Saturday. And that werewolf story isn't going to write itself, so enough celebrating and time to knuckle down and write something. After all, I promised myself 2013 was the year I would send something off to be published - 2014 is the year I try to prove that getting published wasn't a fluke!

 P.s. Still kinda want that vat of ice cream though...

Should you review your own work?

Stripelessz and I are sat discussing my first bad review and whether or not I should review my own book. I thought it might be a good idea because I don't think it's perfect and it might give insight into where my squirrelly brain was going with everything. However, she made me see that it would either look like I was tooting my horn and people wouldn't trust the review anyway OR it would look like I hate the story and people wouldn't buy it because if I didn't like it, why would they?! So, no review from me on Alien a Christmas.

 Interestingly enough, the 'bad' review I got encompasses some of the things I personally think of the story. Because it's a short story, something had to be missing - in this case it was background on the characters, bringing other people into it, and the Sci Fi elements. It was never meant to be a science fiction story but because it has an alien in it, it kinda has to have that tag. Part of me wonders if I could actually write more on Stoly and Ramsay - how they met and got together, the ceremony, what happens next. But my muse isn't being forthcoming with that at the moment.

 Positives I got from the review: they finished reading it so they didn't hate it entirely, lol!! They thought it was too short which means they wanted more - yay! The sex was hot - phew!

I liked the fact that Goodreads talks to you about the review and what you shouldn't do - I imagine some people have ignored that advice and regretted it when it looked like an author tantrum. And hey, look, I got my first negative and I'm not curled up under the duvet crying - yay me!

 Happy Christmas! Xx

Sunnydale Memorial Awards - Round 29

Ultraviolet won some awards!!

Mini bit of Porn....

.....I was actually trying to write chapter two of my shapeshifter story 'The Taming of Bren' but instead I ended up writing a little bit of spanky porn called 'In Hand'. Just Derek finally putting Stiles over his lap - fun ensues for all!! In Hand can be found here.

Werewolf fic has eaten my brain!!

I've started a short shapeshifter fic, sort of writing to a submission I saw - of course, now I can't remember which publisher it was with *d'oh* And in the meantime, I'm knee-deep in a Sterek fic that's light on plot and heavy on the whoa, semi-beastly sex!! It looks like the muse is determined to get me writing mating and knotting with a vengeance. It started as a one shot, but is currently on four chapters and I feel like I might have to write a follow-up to see what happens in the aftermath. So here it is, His Inner Beast. Derek’s letting out his inner wolf-man and the plan to use Stiles as bait to bring him back goes awry. No surprise there then... my first multi-chapter Sterek fic, you can read it by clicking on the nifty little banner I created or clicking here

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Final Edits for Alien Christmas

Couldn't sleep (again) so have just completed the final edits for Alien Christmas and sent them back. After this, I think it's all done and full steam ahead for publication late December. I actually saw it on their website - how surreal is that?! I'm really going to be a published author - OMG!

My first attempt at Sterek ~ Lost Night

Lost Night (791 words) by skargasm
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Memory Loss, Implied Slash
Summary:

Despite the gaps in his memory, he was feeling so peaceful he couldn’t bring himself to care….

An Alien Christmas

Release date is 21st December and I have a cover!!

I was so right....

....by the end of it, I hated edits!! First there was the whole Libre won't show comments and I don't have Word. Then I manage to get a trial Word package and see all the changes I need to make.

Then it's going through the story and basically picking up all the bits you normally gloss over and fixing them. Some of it made me pull at my hair; other times I was stomping around shouting; but ultimately I definitely think they made the story stronger and more cohesive.

But I can't see me looking forward to edits ever again - well, apart from the whole 'if I have edits that means I'm being published' kinda vibe!!

I have edits!!

Somehow, I would imagine by the end of the process I won't be quite as excited but I have an editor and I have edits!! Which means Alien Christmas is one step closer to being published. Excuse me while I squee!!!!

Wicked Awards on Livejournal

I won some awards on Livejournal for some of my fanfic.  Here are my pretties!!

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MTV EMA 2013 :: 10.11.2013 :: Amsterdam :: News

MTV EMA 2013 :: 10.11.2013 :: Amsterdam :: News: The official MTV EMA news hub with all the latest breaking news about the 2013 MTV EMA taking place in Amsterdam on 10th November 2013!

Hmmmmm, Seer didn't happen.....

...but I managed 1500 words of fanfic so not a complete epic fail! Of course, it would really help if I stopped spending hours at a time on Tumblr - talk about eating my brain! The problem is, there are so many absolutely gorgeous images on there that it's easy to lose time.

I need to be more disciplined, a lot more writing and a lot less 'oh look, something sparkly'!

Muse is consumed.....

...unfortunately by Fanfiction which is a bit of a bummer when I'm meant to be trying to write original stuff! I blame 30 Seconds to Mars - I watched their concert at the Hollywood Bowl on Saturday (despite having to get up at 5 am in order to see it on VyRT) and my head is just full of RPF. Which is strange as never written it before.

I've decided to attempt to write some Seer in the hope that easing myself gently away from the Leto bros will help me start writing the three stories sat waiting for me again....

MTV EMA 2013 :: 10.11.2013 :: Amsterdam :: Artists

MTV EMA 2013 :: 10.11.2013 :: Amsterdam :: Artists: The official MTV EMA press hub with all the artists about the 2013 MTV EMA taking place in Amsterdam on 10th November 2013!Browse the official hub for 2013 MTV EMA artists, see who's nominated, and vote! Find out who wins when the EMA is held 10 November 2013 in Amsterdam!

State of Shock.....

......Silver Publishing have offered me a contract for Alien Christmas!!!

The editor said she thought it was unique and sweet and passionate!! OMG, I'm going to have a published story!!!

Home - Spike/Xander - NC17

Watching 'Side Effects' again (or trying to), I remembered that last time it inspired me to write a short Spike/Xander fanfiction piece.  It wasn't in my usual style at all - the writing was different, the tone--but I really loved it. I posted it over on Goodreads but wanted to put it here too.

Seer - Chapter 4 - Kol/Nick

He definitely hadn't heard that right, his gaze automatically going to Threadgood's so his partner could confirm or deny what had been said. Threadgood was doing his best not to snort and Nick looked at the Captain, sure he would see a similar expression of disbelief or something that said that this was some sort of joke. He didn't and Kol continued speaking. “At a little after eleven on Thursday night, I closed up after an event at my book-store. I was driving home when the vision took me over. I managed to pull over before I lost sight completely.”

Seer - Chapter 3 - Nick/Kol

The waiting was the worst.

He hoped desperately that what he had felt, had seen, was an overly involving nightmare but he knew it wasn't. Somewhere out there she lay dead, still waiting to be found. It made him feel nauseous just thinking about it but he couldn't put it out of his mind. He'd ended up leaving the book-store closed, unable to concentrate enough to consider dealing with people – pitiful indeed.

35,000 Words in September

Yep, trying again!!  This time I've lowered my goal - life got in the way of doing 45,000 words - so am aiming for 35,000 words this time!!

01 - 08 Sept :
09 - 15 Sept :
16 - 22 Sept :
23 - 29 Sept :
30 Sept      :

I am writing to a couple of deadlines for Original fic and of course, it's time for <lj comm="fall-for-sx"> so plenty of stuff going on there! Let's do this!

The Spike/Xander story that ate my brain - Master!post for Ultraviolet

Title: → Ultraviolet
Rating:→ NC17
Pairing: → Spike/Xander 
Fandom:→ Buffy the Vampire Slayer 
Genre: → AU 
Beta (s):→ Unbeta'd 
Disclaimer:→ Not mine. 
Summary: → Spike is called to Oxnard to claim something his Grand-sire gave to him with nasty results for Xander. 
Graphics: → Banners by 
A/N: → This features Original!Spike – nasty bastard, un-chipped, unrepentant demon. This is definitely non-con and not even remotely romantic. You have been warned.

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PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

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156 weeks writing & new banner.....

Received my 156 weeks award at Taming the Muse and am really chuffed. I can't believe I have written at least 500 words every week for the last three years - I am blown away!!

And as part of my dragging my writing partner into this whole 'let's write something original and expose our delicate, sensitive psyches to even more people who can crush us with their rejection, I sent my lovely sis TLM the following banner in an attempt to tempt her into writing an original story with me!!

I started it as my original Christmas Anthology for Dreamspinner but found I wanted to write it with TLM so we held off. But I would really be interested in using it to write our taming prompts and see if we could actually do this thing together.  All I need now is her pseudonym.....oh, and to make her write something! Subtle I'm not!!

Still behind on my word count - not looking like I'm going to make 45,000 words in August but I have written a few drabbles over the last couple of days that I am pleased with.

Tomorrow is exam results day - I wonder if that's why I'm not sleeping.....

The editors at Dreamspinner....

....they say no.  Just received a lovely email explaining that the submission doesn't match their publication needs and I have replied, saying thanks and asking for any feedback available.

Hey ho, not quite sure how I feel.....

Another weekend over....

...and my word count for August so far comes to just under 19,000. Not bad but definitely not on schedule. Mind you, bearing in mind the weekend I had I'm proud I got any writing done at all.

And ta-da!! I have officially written at least 500 words every week for the last 156 weeks or three years!! Yeah, I'm proud!

Christopher Haylock: Abstract portrait

Christopher Haylock: Abstract portrait

Tumblr is rather marvellous.....

.....and I now have a banner to work from for my Juicy Bits story - it's called "2 weeks 6 days 2 long" and I just loved the colours!! Didn't do much - added a poppy overlay, poppy red font with a dark grey/white shadow and it's all done!!

So, that's three new banners which mean 3 stories to write. Oh dear, methinks less art and more writing!

Epic Fail....

Two days of not writing and I really don't think I'm going to manage 45000 words with the way things are going.

Little monster has been a complete and utter *bleep* for the last two days and I am exhausted, headachey and generally feeling like dropping my head into a blender and turning it onto pulse!!

BUT I have had a couple of ideas for Open Submission Calls and I have written quick characters and story outlines, and of course, the ever present banner that helps me picture my lovelies while I try to write them.

So, here's one provisionally called "Good With His Hands" for either 'Love at First Sight' or the 'Bears' prompt!! Dead car, sexy mechanic, dirty greasy sex - works for me!! The first version I did had pink writing and looked 'wrong' but after discussing it with my on-site consultant (Izzy), she reminded me that I seem to like cool sensitive blues and helped me figure out font and colours, etc.

The next story in my head apart has no title or banner but I do have a story outline, and a page or two of what I want to write.  It's for the Juicy Bits open prompt and I can see me heading there for when I want/need to write some unrelenting smut!

Got a friend popping round for an hour tomorrow, so need to try and get some sleep but will see about writing a page or two first.

Hmmm, maybe not an epic fail after all?!

Seer ~ Chapter 2 ~ Kol/Nick

SEER 

Kol Barrington used to be a psychic until a traumatic event took his powers away from him. Until now.

Nick Taylor is a detective faced with a case that is getting stranger by the day. He has what looks to be a nasty serial killer on his hands and a so-called psychic who can tell him details that no one but the killer should know. He also has a desire for this strange witness that he has never experienced before in his life and that part of him wants to take as far as it can go.

If only he could get past the idea that Kol can read his mind and Kol can get past the idea that Nick might well be using him as bait to catch a killer.....

Loosely based on the 1995 novel Dream Man by Linda Howard  

TWO 

Seer ~ Chapter 1 ~ Kol/Nick

SEER 

Kol Barrington used to be a psychic until a traumatic event took his powers away from him. Until now.

Nick Taylor is a detective faced with a case that is getting stranger by the day. He has what looks to be a nasty serial killer on his hands and a so-called psychic who can tell him details that no one but the killer should know. He also has a desire for this strange witness that he has never experienced before in his life and that part of him wants to take as far as it can go.

If only he could get past the idea that Kol can read his mind and Kol can get past the idea that Nick might well be using him as bait to catch a killer.....

Loosely based on the 1995 novel Dream Man by Linda Howard

ONE

Seer ~ Prologue ~ Kol/Nick

SEER 

Kol Barrington used to be a psychic until a traumatic event took his powers away from him. Until now.

Nick Taylor is a detective faced with a case that is getting stranger by the day. He has what looks to be a nasty serial killer on his hands and a so-called psychic who can tell him details that no one but the killer should know. He also has a desire for this strange witness that he has never experienced before in his life and that part of him wants to take as far as it can go.

If only he could get past the idea that Kol can read his mind and Kol can get past the idea that Nick might well be using him as bait to catch a killer.....

Loosely based on the 1995 novel Dream Man by Linda Howard

PROLOGUE

4,500 words behind......

...and here I am at 4.20 a.m. just finishing up chapter 10 of Seer. I can't believe it - for the past two days, I haven't been able to write a thing what with stresses of dealing with awful child. But I saw the prompt for this week and it just fitted in my head and out came chapter 10.

Okay, it's not on my Original piece that I want to send off, but it is still important and I am pleased to have broken my little run of the bad. Tomorrow is another day - hopefully I can write a bit more, and it would be great if I could over-write and sorta catch up!!

Laterz
x

Brain strain didn't help but....

....I think I have my title.  Am rolling with 'Playing Doctor' for the timebeing as it merges games with medical/taking care of - I've even updated the banner. Of course, that might have to do with the fact that I've done no writing today AT ALL and I felt bad!!

The lack of writing is because I'm lazy and I got stressed - tomorrow I am going to have to make up for that. Maybe 45k was too much?

Oh look, that would be me being defeatist and negative. Time to switch that around and be positive - I am not that far behind and should be more than able to catch up. Yeah, not sure I'm believing that positive spin either but at least I tried!!!

August and it's Dr Feelgood

Into August, and I have set myself a goal of 45k words this month. I need to write a certain amount per day in order to meet that goal, and although I haven't written 1500 words per day, I have written every day. I have an idea for another story that fits with a DSP Open call, but am trying to figure out a title for it.

I made a little banner so I have their images in my head while I write because I find that helps, but the title isn't coming to me. I think I've written something like 2400 words so far, and the minimum count is 5000 so I'm on track.

I think I want something medical in the title but what? Off to strain my brain further...

OMG I did it!!

I have just officially pressed send on my first submission for publication!! The story is just under 11000 words long and I have submitted for a Christmas anthology. The deadline for sending in submissions is tomorrow.

I still can't quite believe I managed to finish it in time. I've been working on it every day for a while but the words were being dragged out of me. Somehow, yesterday and today they just flowed.

Of course, I've left it much too late for anyone to do a tidy up/ beta for me which is a shame, but I am just so chuffed that I did what I said i was going to do - I beat the deadline and I submitted something.

I need to lie down - now I feel ill at the thought of professional strangers reading my story and laughing their heads off at me for even thinking I might have some talent!

Copyright Controversy

Enough to send a shiver of fear into the heart of any fanfic writer, someone within the BtVS fandom had a story tagged as copyright violation and was told to stop posting it. It's kinda horrid when you think about it - obviously the writer and her fans were upset. She must have put a LOT of time into writing the story and her readers had been able to get a taste of what she was doing/where she was going with it. So of course, they're disappointed.

There was a little bit of vague finger pointing as to who reported it and wishes for karma to bite whoever reported it on the ass, but things seem to have settled down again.Apparently the only person who can raise a claim under copyright would be the author or a representative, so it might just be a case of this story caught their eye. Who the heck knows? I can't imagine anyone I know within the fandom going through the effort of contacting the author, providing links, etc all within the time it took to post three chapters just to get the story stopped. I know my life is way too busy to be that interested in anyone else!!

But it does raise the question: when does fair use become copyright theft? A disclaimer was used and there was zero intent to make profit. But the original story/characters do belong to someone else. And that person has the right to say 'please don't use them'.

It's a bit of a 'you can't play in my sandbox cos I bought the sand' kinda thing, but it is understandable. I have been going around in circles thinking about this because one of the stories I am working on was inspired by a book I read nearly 20 years ago. I can't even say whether it's changed enough from the original to be an homage rather than an adaptation. If the author wanted to, and if someone reported me, she could request I take it down. And there's nothing I could do about it but stop writing it.

Spoilsport? Yes. Within their rights? Yes. Brain explosion going round in circles? Triple yes.

I guess ultimately as someone who wants to be published, I have to be on the side of the original writer. Because I think if I put my heart/soul into writing something and was relying on the money from it being published, then discovered someone else was using my characters, my world, my storyline (even vaguely), I would wonder if people would decide to read the free version rather than pay for mine. And I guess I would say please don't play in my sandbox.

As a fanfic writer, that makes me feel a bit hypocritical and that doesn't sit well. I can  tell this is going to go round and round in the washing machine of my mind for a while yet....

Coming up on deadlines.....

...and I appear to have written absolutely loads this month but I haven't actually finished anything!

So far this month, I have written just over 32000 words but I still have two separate Christmas stories that I haven't finished when there's a deadline of 1st August for submission. Part of it is because I decided to write one of them with my writing partner and we haven't managed to get our asses in gear. The second one is because no matter how quickly I write, the story seems to be growing and just not ending. There is a limit of 18,000 words and I haven't made it to 5,000 words yet but it already feels longer than I had originally intended.

Sometimes I think I do this on purpose - set myself up to fail. But I don't mean to.

All of the reading I have done this month just seems to confirm that I can't write as well as the authors I admire. And I know that I should take that as motivation to keep going, to improve. But instead it just seems to be something that presses me down!

Ah, to hell with it. 32000 words and I have another 8 days before the deadline. Let's see if I can finish just one of these stories by then!

More fanfic, no original.....

...pretty much all in the title.  Waiting to hear back from my writing partner as to what she thought of the 2000 words I sent to her and whether or not it has triggered her muse.

in the meantime, the semi original fanfic has yet another chapter. five in all.  Slightly depressing inasmuch as only one person is commenting on it so I have no idea if anyone else is reading it. But I like how it's going and another 1500 isn't to be sneezed at.

Still filling in my July word count spreadsheet and determined to write something every day.

Another day over.....

The runaway muse.....

.....I spoke too soon.  I wonder if it can be tempted back with muffins or large glasses of pepsi max in ice....

Another day, another 1800 words....

....this time in the form of a bit of fanfiction dedicated to a friend. Scary how easy it is to fall instantly back into fanfiction mode: no description of the character's background because everyone knows it; no physical description because the readers know exactly what these guys look like. 

Lazy?  I don't think so - this was just a little piece for a friend, to kinda say thank you for everything he's done for me. 

A lot going on in R/L so it's actually a relief to discover the muse is more than happy to write if I let it - long may this reign!

Writing for Christmas in July....

It actually started because I thought I had an amazing idea for a story for the open submission that Riptide Publishing are holding in October.

I got myself seriously excited, started with chapter outlines and characters blocking - I even had a fabulous friend or two ready to pre-read it for me.  But I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something wrong - that it couldn't be that easy.  And I was right.

I was "channelling"  a book I had read in 1995 - not word for word, but I obviously had the structure in my head because the first couple of chapters of my brand new opus ran along the exact same lines.

Having read up on plagiarism - what counts as plagiarism, etc - as part of my brain meanderings, I realised there was just NO way I could write this and submit it for publication.  Yes, the protagonists are two men rather than a heterosexual couple; the storyline could well completely veer off as I am writing it; it could be considered an homage.  But in the end, I just feel so guilty that I got even this far with the idea that I can't see me ever submitting it anywhere.

I'm continuing it as fanfiction so the story that's bouncing around in my head will hopefully be finished but only for me and a few friends to read.

TAKE TWO

An anthology over at Dreamspinner is open for submissions.  Closer deadline (1st August) and the subject matter has to include something heart warming for Christmas.  I should be able to write something for this right?  Well, yes and no.  Somehow it's started off like something out of a Sci-Fi novel including time travel.  Yep, no Christmas yet but we're travelling through time so you know, Christmas could happen at any moment (pun intended sadly).

And because I have zero confidence in myself and feel much happier/confident when I am writing with a dear friend, I have dragged her into my deadline!! I've sent off the first chunk (about 2000 words) and have asked her if she will consider co-writing it with me.  I even admitted why - that I feel like something is missing, that I need her touch, her way with words to bring the story properly to life.  So fingers crossed, what I've written can spark her muse into action and she can do something with it.

Surely this counts as me doing something to get published?  I have a little contest going on with my sister - I will send something off to be published before she manages to redo her bathroom.  So far, we're neck and neck which isn't good.  But either way, I have two stories battling for dominance in my head which is kinda nice as my head hasn't been a good place to be for a while.

Now I just need to get into the Christmas spirit....