Back from the Land of the Dead Muse

Yeah I know it's a bit dramatic but it does sum things up.

Life has been turbulent to say the least, and with ill health and other issues it has meant that my writing suffered. So much so, that for over a year I didn't really write anything.

But I'm back - sort of. I decided to rewrite something as Sterek Fanfiction and am on chapter 27. That sounds really impressive until you find out the first 23 chapters were already in draft form and just had to be smoothed out.

BUT I am writing again. And people are liking what I'm writing. So I'm feeling like that part of me is slowly coming back to life. Everything else is a pile of poop - think stroke, vertigo, migraines, sleep apnea and you have an idea of what the last six weeks have been like - so I am trying to find my silver lining. And hopefully writing is going to be it.

So anyway, this is where you can find the new story. It's called Seer and I did a little banner for it!

I will hopefully be updating the blog on the regular and definitely aiming to get this story finished.

P.S. am following my sibling's new blog about a detox she is following and you can see it at the following link: Forever

Can't believe it's August already!

Gonna have to go some if I want to try to hit any of the August submission dates. I don't think I'm going to make it - not unless I try to scrape something together which seems a tad self-defeating. Makes more sense to concentrate on finishing off my Taming submissions - 2 more weeks and I hit 4 years - and then look around at what various publishers are looking for.

In home news, the psychiatrist says LM has no psychological issues - they're all behavioural. Basically, she understands exactly what she shouldn't do - she just chooses to do it anyway. So back to the counsellor to see if we can get to the root of why she does the things she does. Sigh, I kinda knew it before the psychiatrist said it but still slightly deflating.

Went swimming this morning - told LM that I would try to teach her to swim a whole length of the pool without armbands. We had fun - although she doesn't seem to trust that she will float and panics a bit. I'm not sure we'll meet our goal but I know she had a good time which makes a nice change.  Of course, it was blissful whilst I was in there - weightless, able to move around easily. As soon as I made my way up the ladder, gravity hit me like a tonne of bricks and I am in agony.  The disabled showers at this centre are marvellous and I just sat there for a while, luxuriating in the hot water pounding against my back, but soon enough it was time to get out of there and driving home was torture. Have basically spent the rest of the day feeling like death warmed up, back stiff as a board and dreading doing it again. But we will - it's good exercise for me and her, and it's important that I stick to what I say I'll do.

So we have the new taming prompt : flail. If ever there was a prompt with Teen Wolf written all over it, this one is it. 

So maybe tonight I'll try to churn out the first story for the week and then there won't be such a rush.

Update, sort of

Its been nearly three months since I wrote anything on here.

• haven't written anything original since that time - I have stories that I could be working on but the Muse is completely suffocated by the stress that is living with LM;

• I am heading towards four years of writing at Taming the Muse over on Livejournal which is kinda freaking me out. It seems cowardly to be able to write fanfiction but not original stuff, but I guess it's easier? Because no one pays to read my fanfiction - if they don't like it, it didn't cost them a penny and generally speaking they don't feel the need to vent their spleen. The same cannot be said of published writing and I think I may be just a little bit too fragile for that at the moment;

• My Lady is unwell. No details but it scared/s me and I wake up sweating sometimes wondering what the frick frack I would do without her. I feel like such a chocolate teapot as last time we spoke on the phone, SHE was consoling ME! FML!   

• The insomnia is pretty darn horrific. I've been catching up with sleep during the day with LM at school but the holidays are here and I'm not going to be able to do that anymore. Nightmares that make me afraid to close my eyes so less than pleasant. I need to do something. Also seem to have caught this whole mind-revulsion thing caused by those images of lotus pods on facebook, etc - literally my whole body tingles and I can't close my eyes because they are all I can see. Ugh.

• Yoyo dieting continues. Its too hot to be this overweight but putting the effort into myself involved in dieting seems too hard sometimes. 

So I've decided to get through the next four weeks of writing to win my final Taming award, then start to try to write something original AS my taming each week. Maybe that way, I can ease my way back into writing without too much pressure? 

Easter Holidays are over

Some of the time it was brilliant. LM had her birthday party as well as a trip to the Midland Go Karting company to spend an hour driving laps like a lunatic in a go-kart. She loved it and was pretty good, if not a bit of a speed demon.

We went to Merry Hill shopping centre and walked around for ages - next time I need to (a) have some money and (b) plan the route better. LM had her ears pierced and everyone was good.

The rest of the time though, LM was a screaming pain in the butt and it made me feel so sad that her big sister came down to spend time with her and had to suffer through the abuse. But hey, I got to spend time with three of them which is special, very very special.

I have been playing Covet like a complete lunatic - finding out there are groups on FB where you can join simply to get access to more wardrobes by friending a lot of people - that was pretty darn cool! So now instead of having 6 friends, I have something like 128! And yes, I am borrowing from every wardrobe I can!

Tomorrow, the anthology Juicy Bits is released with my story in it, and maybe I'm a little bit scared that people will hate my contribution. Oh dear, that might explain the lack of closed-eyes!!

Writing-wise, I've kept up with my Taming the Muse and am on 193 weeks, writing at least 500 words per week. Sounds really impressive and in a way it is. Not so impressive when I consider that I haven't written anything original in over a month, possibly two. I can blame so many things but what it boils down to is that I need to get a grip on real life - whether it's accepting that this is how things are going to be and I need to work with it OR this is what I need to do to make things better - and just WRITE!

No more excuses - just WRITE.

Nearly 2 a.m. so time to log off and get some sleep. But tomorrow, I'm going to take my own advice.

End of the weekend

I've had a really good weekend, although I should get the bad news out of the way first.

It would appear that the CEO of Silver Publishing has done a runner, taking with him all of the royalties he owes the authors. Not going to go into too much detail here but I've received full rights to 'Alien Christmas' back and can pretty much kiss goodbye to any money owed to me. It's all a bit dramatic, traumatic and has left a bad taste in my mouth. I can only be relieved that I only had one story with them as there are other people who are out a great deal of money.

LM was dropped with her paternal grandparents on Friday so that she could be there for their 50th wedding anniversary party. She's also having a mini birthday party and spending some time at their church play scheme, so all in all, I think she's having a ball. A little strange for me as I have always been there for each of the kids' birthdays, so to let her go be with someone else on her 10th birthday - double digits at last - feels strange.

I collect her on Wednesday and basically from then on, it's going to be presents, mini party here with my side of the family, and all of her other presents e.g. go-karting experience, getting her ears pierced, cinema trip, etc.

MD and I went up to visit my sister in Cambridge and finally met the latest addition to the family, my Great Nephew. He's absolutely gorgeous with the most striking blue eyes I have ever seen!! I got to hold him and he even fell asleep on me - unfortunately, by the time MD got to hold him he seemed quite grumpy and wouldn't settle. Got to have a nice chat with sister and my Bil, who has said he'll take some photos for MD of her cake work as she's setting up a blog and hoping to go into business over the summer with her baking.

I'll put up links to her blog, etc when she's happy with how it looks.

Last but not least, I sent my galley proofs of '2 Weeks 6 Days 2 Long' to a couple of friends for honest review and got a reply today.

THIS IS A REALLY GREAT SHORT STORY!!! Seriously, you know how picky I can be when I put my mind to it, but this is ready to go as-is.

You hit a nice balance of background, family bonds, and hotness, which makes for an enjoyable and _marketable_ story. (Tougher to do in a short story than with a higher word count; this is nicely concise, yet fully fleshed-out).

I'm really chuffed as I value this person's opinion and she has always been very honest with me about what she thinks of what I've written. So if she likes it, then it's good!! I just hope other people share her opinion!!

I'm hoping that the next few days without LM will awaken my original muse and I can get some writing done.Here's hoping!

Juicy Bits Anthology on the Coming Soon Page.....

Out on 28th April, one of my stories is part of the Juicy Bits Anthology from Dreamspinner Press.

2 Weeks 6 Days 2 Long by S K Manganelli Matt’s partner Craig has been away on business for almost three weeks and he’s getting fed up with sleeping on his own. It seems he’s not the only one. Craig surprises him with an early return at a family get-together. Matt is even more amazed when Craig demonstrates how much he missed Matt, and that two weeks and six days are simply too long to be apart! Click the pretty to pre-order!

Procrastination is an art form....

...of which I seem to be a master. I can't even say that I don't have the idea in my head because I do - I have a rough outline of what I want to write, and approximately 1000 words already written. I just - can't seem to make myself write the next couple of thousand.

There's a deadline - 15th April - which is getting closer and closer, especially as I have to travel to take LM up to visit her grandparents; counselling appointments for LM; and hopefully visting family.

I've opened the word document, re-read what I've already written, pulled out the writing book with my notes - all set to get started. And now all I want to do is sleep, watch TV and read fanfic. It doesn't even need to be good fanfic - just pages and pages of something to focus on instead of writing.

Part of it is fear I think. The story is due out soon and I'm concerned about the reaction to it. I got seriously burned by Alien Christmas so can't help being anxious for this one. Add to that the fact that Silver Publishing is being taken over and I may never see the royalties from Alien Christmas - all of it just seems a bit overwhelming.

LM been screaming on and off for four hours because she was asked to sweep the (miniscule) hallway and I just want to put my head into a bucket of water and scream.

Hmmm, maybe it's not procrastination - maybe it's just plain old depression!

Second Edits and Mini Update

Very tired bunny here.

Today we went for the last part of MD's Christmas pressie - a make up and photo session for her and her alone. OMG, I wanted every single one of the piccies but I couldn't afford them.  They did her make up as 'glamourous' and I am going to be in SO much trouble when she decides to notice boys because she looked absolutely amazing!!

In the end, we managed to resist the sales pitch and just accept the two that were part of the package but it was seriously hard.  It also meant we didn't get home until after 10 p.m. which meant LM was hyper and way past her bedtime and me and MD are kinda zombie like.

So of course, I decided to do the second edits I received from Dreamspinner. I have found this set of edits much easier to deal with - whether it's because I wrote the story a long time ago (it was actually last September-ish time and I submitted it about three months early) so I have the distance to not take anything too personal, or I'm just better aware of what needs to be done to tighten a story up. Whatever it is, I've learnt a lot - I know about splices, how many Britishisms I use in my stories - I can recognise when I use the same word too many times. Yeah, definitely coping better. And of course I've already done them and sent them back.

I don't think it's that I'm not reading them properly or taking them seriously. I think it's just I can see quite clearly what they're saying, my brain seems happy to provide alternatives or explanations, so they whoosh by.  Whatever it is, I've more than made my 24th March deadline.

In other news, I bought a iPhone from eBay, at last using my birthday money. And typical of my luck, it was a complete dodo. The seller said the battery was on it's way out but that the phone worked fine. What they neglected to say was that the phone only works if it's plugged into a charger which hardly makes it 'mobile'. Cue a week of back and forth with seller, with them getting more and more irate with my refusal to accept the phone, calling me ignorant and accusing me of damaging the phone myself because I had changed my mind about wanting it.

It took a lot of walking away before replying so that I didn't get snotty back. I'm posting it back tomorrow and should get a full refund but have a case open with eBay just in case. And I found an alternative phone that comes with a year's warranty so hopefully that should be here tomorrow and I will finally have my birthday present.

I re-read the start of 'Good with his Hands' and am going to try to write it for the April 15th submission of 'Bears' at Dreamspinner. I've already completed my Taming the Muse for the week so time is free, apart from a parent meeting tomorrow morning about LM.

All in all, an interesting week - I've been a bit out of it in terms of light-headedness, feeling a bit sick, over-tired - but my back hasn't been too bad and my knees have stopped clicking although they are still swollen. God I sound like I should be put down!!

Overall a green day, and yeah me this makes two weeks of Atkins I've stuck to!! I think one of my chins is fading and I could sit down in my jeans without being cut in half so I shall see it as a success. Not quite the success of Kim Khardashian but not bad!

Over 4,000 words.....

.....and absolutely none of them were on the original WIPs they should have been. Sigh.

Of course, now I've finished both of my prompts for Taming the Muse, there is no reason why I can't work on something original now. So tomorrow, after I've finished the school run I am coming home and opening one of the WIPs - whether it be 'Good with his Hands', 'The Taming of Bren' or 'Anthemic'. Just - something original!!

First Edits Complete.....

I can't figure out if I'm an editor's worst nightmare or a teacher's pet?

Sorry been MIA - we moved from the house to the flat and it was pretty nightmarish. Squeezing a four bedroom house's contents to fit into a small three bedroom flat has not been fun and the car still has boxes shoved in it whilst my bedroom is a bit of an obstacle course of suitcases and boxes.

Last weekend we celebrated my Dad's birthday which was really cool - sat around and ate and talked for hours - but of course it meant we didn't spend enough time unpacking/cleaning that we should have, and everyone has been back to school this week so, yeah, it's all a bit of a mess.

My back is playing up, as are my hips and knees - all that time on my hands and knees scrubbing carpets at the old house - but all worth it as we are getting our full deposit back. (Round of applause and sigh of relief as it means I can repay some of the money we used to move). All of this means I'm not sleeping very well - 6.42 a.m and I haven't been to bed yet!

LM is being - well, difficult is probably the best word. She's just being really defiant and rude about everything, doing silly things that she knows will get her in trouble, that sort of thing. It's difficult as MD is as tired as I am and trying not to react but it's hard.

However, we finally managed to book MD in for her last Christmas present - a makeover, pamper and photography session. Four hours of being pampered and treated, followed by playing dress up and having photos taken - hopefully it will make her feel good, and of course it never hurts to have yet more pictures of my babies to put up on the wall.

And onward to editing news. Received my first set of edits for '2 weeks 6 days 2 long' today and sort of girded myself to want to cry, etc. I was offered some how-to sheets to make sure I knew what not to do with track changes, etc on Word which was really nice as it's all been self-taught up until now. Of course, me being me and pretty much awake, I decided to see what edits there were to do. It was actually quite painless - some were my use of formatting, some were Britishisms I use; some were me running sentences on. So I finished them and sent them back. Hence the starter question: teacher's pet or worst nightmare?

Because now I'm worried I did them too quickly and should have thought about them longer? And should I have made more comments about why I agreed/disagreed? Gah, sometimes being in a different time-zone is a real pain in the butt!  Of course, I can't take credit for how well edited the story was - that was all Silk-Labyrinth who went through it with her fine-tooth comb before I even submitted it last year. So I shall ensure I send my thanks her way instead of just preening and pretending I somehow managed to achieve that myself!!

So yeah, first edits complete and I agreed the blurb. As soon as I'm allowed, I'll put the proper blurb and picture up but you guys already know it cos I did the mini banner of the two guys on the poppies way back to last year.

And now that the first edits are over, maybe I should stop writing that Teen Wolf/BtVS crossover and try to write something original?! Ooh look, 6.50 a.m., time for bed!

Dreamspinner said yes!

Dreamspinner want to publish my short story in their anthology. It's called '2 Weeks 6 Days 2 Long' and it's going to be in their Juicy Bits anthology later this year!

I'm very, very happy - I must admit, with Alien Christmas receiving a lukewarm reception (at best), I was beginning to think I didn't have what it takes. But this means being accepted the first time wasn't a fluke - this is another publisher saying yes, they like my work and want to publish it.

As it's a short story, it's not huge amounts of cash but that's not really the point. It's January and I've achieved one of my aims for the year already - another story has been accepted. This was the banner I made to give me an 'image' in my head of the MCs:

Now I guess I need to stop hiding in fanfiction and start finishing off some of the WiPs cluttering up my Ninja USB!!

Fanfic vs Original

Why is it easier to write fanfic than it is original stuff? Or maybe, easier to get motivated to write fanfic? I have the shapeshifter fic I still want to do some work on - as in, get past the first chapter - but 7 a.m. finds me writing Teen Wolf Sterek fanfic instead of sleeping or writing something original.

It's like, the muse is perfectly happy to throw out ideas but won't let me concentrate and get down to anything else. Probably a willpower thing? I need to be more disciplined I guess - right, tomorrow (or rather later today) I am going to write at least 500 words of 'Taming of Bren'.

I better get some sleep I guess...

Potential Fubar...

Potentially good: we're still on track to be offered a flat. Number one on the list and the closing date is midnight Monday.

Potentially complete crap: today we received back our updated housing application from the post office with a 'failure to deliver' notice on it. We originally sent this in back at the beginning of November, well in time for the deadline. It's taken nearly two months for them not to deliver it and it could mean that our application for the flat is denied as they didn't receive the updated form.

I don't know whether to curl into a ball and cry or merely resign my position as an adult - there is no way I could have prevented this but it could mean we lose out through no fault of our own.

I'm trying to be all zen - what is for us will not pass us by - but man, all in want to do is have an epic tantrum.

Grown up time: Monday after the school run, I'll call the housing department and explain what's happened, see what they say. Until then, I shall stay away from sharp objects.

Review of 2013

Actually, not so much of a review as a bit of a ramble.

I've been living inside my own head for a few days. The reviews for 'Alien Christmas' really upset me - like, unable to write upset me.  There's no point in going on a long diatribe as to why they've upset me - I'm pretty sure that anyone who's created anything and had to read/listen to other people's views on it will get it - the need to defend and explain that in the end won't make any difference to the reviews you've already got and could prejudice anything for the future. So, suffice it to say that I've had to promise Stripelessz that I won't go off into a fit of depression over every negative review or consider it the end of my writing career as I know it.

I write because I need to. I write what I like, what I enjoy, what I would want to read. And there are going to be people who like it and people who don't. I'm loving writing fanfic at the moment but I also have about four different original stories that I would like to finish and maybe send off to be considered and I won't do that if I keep living in my head.

On a private note, we might be getting a flat which means packing up a four bedroom Victorian house and moving to a small three bedroom flat. Better for us financially and security-wise, but still going to make the next couple of months busy, full of hassle and financially draining in the first instance. I want to make sure I keep writing but I need to start weeding through my stuff - dvds, books, clothes, etc - and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. I did it 18 months ago but there is still so much stuff there. I need to let go of the past - anything not used/worn in the last 18 months needs to go - gulp!

Christmas was lovely as I spent it surrounded by various members of family. I've not been as sick either - at the moment, it's just a slight throat infection, lightheadedness and a temperature so for me, pretty darn good.

I have an idea for my first taming the muse for this week - the prompt is Cox swain which I must admit made my head spin in several directions as I debated dropping out of the entire thing as I tried to figure out how I was going to shoe-horn that into anything I'm in the middle of writing. The first one is going to be a complete one-shot because getting coxswain into any of my current stories may be above my capabilities!!

It's back to being me, Striplessz and Gidget at home which is good - school starts next week, and there are hospital appointments at the end of this week. I think we're all going through variations of coming down from Christmas so we're living in jimjams and trying to be nice to each other. Can't ask for a better start to the year than that.

Resolutions:
* prove that getting a story published wasn't a fluke;
* stop melting down at every negative review - a work in slow progress;
* finish 'Parental Units' and accept that it may well be one of the last bits of Spander fanfic that I write. I need to finish 'Refuge' with The Lady and I signed up for 'Spangel Rekindled' at the end of January but I think that's pretty much it.
* get back into Atkins and lose some weight.

Hmm, they may be a tad weighted in the writing department - can I consider them as personal growth or do I need to look at other areas of my life too? If you've made it to the end of this, well done on wading through my crap!

I wish you a lovely end to 2013 and hope your 2014 brings you everything you truly need and desire.

S x

Merry freakin' Christmas aka...

...don't visit your book on Amazon unless you've prepared yourself! Very quiet day as no kids and this evening ended up on Amazon. I didn't even realise 'Alien Christmas' would be on there - yes, I really am that unaware. Unfortunately for me, the first review is a bad one - like, they found the story laughable type of bad. I read the review a couple of times and let it sit with me. Then, once I'd got over the urge to submerge my face in a vat of ice cream, I decided it was one person's view. And everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

 I won't say it didn't hurt because heck yeah, to have your first ever published story described as laughable is a hit to the ego, but I knew there would be bad reviews - you can't please everyone. And it's the first story so it isn't going to be perfect. I have to trust in the friends who give me their (direct) honest opinion that it's a good story - it can't be that bad otherwise no publisher would have picked it up! So, big girl pants on and move along.

 On other news, I got some money as a Christmas present so I think I will hit the shops when I get the kids back. Treat myself to something nice, although since my idea of a nice self-present is an Arc writing book from Staples and I already have one in every colour they have, I may have to broaden my range a little.

 I've finished one Taming for the week but still have 500 words to write by Saturday. And that werewolf story isn't going to write itself, so enough celebrating and time to knuckle down and write something. After all, I promised myself 2013 was the year I would send something off to be published - 2014 is the year I try to prove that getting published wasn't a fluke!

 P.s. Still kinda want that vat of ice cream though...

Should you review your own work?

Stripelessz and I are sat discussing my first bad review and whether or not I should review my own book. I thought it might be a good idea because I don't think it's perfect and it might give insight into where my squirrelly brain was going with everything. However, she made me see that it would either look like I was tooting my horn and people wouldn't trust the review anyway OR it would look like I hate the story and people wouldn't buy it because if I didn't like it, why would they?! So, no review from me on Alien a Christmas.

 Interestingly enough, the 'bad' review I got encompasses some of the things I personally think of the story. Because it's a short story, something had to be missing - in this case it was background on the characters, bringing other people into it, and the Sci Fi elements. It was never meant to be a science fiction story but because it has an alien in it, it kinda has to have that tag. Part of me wonders if I could actually write more on Stoly and Ramsay - how they met and got together, the ceremony, what happens next. But my muse isn't being forthcoming with that at the moment.

 Positives I got from the review: they finished reading it so they didn't hate it entirely, lol!! They thought it was too short which means they wanted more - yay! The sex was hot - phew!

I liked the fact that Goodreads talks to you about the review and what you shouldn't do - I imagine some people have ignored that advice and regretted it when it looked like an author tantrum. And hey, look, I got my first negative and I'm not curled up under the duvet crying - yay me!

 Happy Christmas! Xx

Sunnydale Memorial Awards - Round 29

Ultraviolet won some awards!!

Mini bit of Porn....

.....I was actually trying to write chapter two of my shapeshifter story 'The Taming of Bren' but instead I ended up writing a little bit of spanky porn called 'In Hand'. Just Derek finally putting Stiles over his lap - fun ensues for all!! In Hand can be found here.

Werewolf fic has eaten my brain!!

I've started a short shapeshifter fic, sort of writing to a submission I saw - of course, now I can't remember which publisher it was with *d'oh* And in the meantime, I'm knee-deep in a Sterek fic that's light on plot and heavy on the whoa, semi-beastly sex!! It looks like the muse is determined to get me writing mating and knotting with a vengeance. It started as a one shot, but is currently on four chapters and I feel like I might have to write a follow-up to see what happens in the aftermath. So here it is, His Inner Beast. Derek’s letting out his inner wolf-man and the plan to use Stiles as bait to bring him back goes awry. No surprise there then... my first multi-chapter Sterek fic, you can read it by clicking on the nifty little banner I created or clicking here

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Final Edits for Alien Christmas

Couldn't sleep (again) so have just completed the final edits for Alien Christmas and sent them back. After this, I think it's all done and full steam ahead for publication late December. I actually saw it on their website - how surreal is that?! I'm really going to be a published author - OMG!