Update, sort of

Its been nearly three months since I wrote anything on here.

• haven't written anything original since that time - I have stories that I could be working on but the Muse is completely suffocated by the stress that is living with LM;

• I am heading towards four years of writing at Taming the Muse over on Livejournal which is kinda freaking me out. It seems cowardly to be able to write fanfiction but not original stuff, but I guess it's easier? Because no one pays to read my fanfiction - if they don't like it, it didn't cost them a penny and generally speaking they don't feel the need to vent their spleen. The same cannot be said of published writing and I think I may be just a little bit too fragile for that at the moment;

• My Lady is unwell. No details but it scared/s me and I wake up sweating sometimes wondering what the frick frack I would do without her. I feel like such a chocolate teapot as last time we spoke on the phone, SHE was consoling ME! FML!   

• The insomnia is pretty darn horrific. I've been catching up with sleep during the day with LM at school but the holidays are here and I'm not going to be able to do that anymore. Nightmares that make me afraid to close my eyes so less than pleasant. I need to do something. Also seem to have caught this whole mind-revulsion thing caused by those images of lotus pods on facebook, etc - literally my whole body tingles and I can't close my eyes because they are all I can see. Ugh.

• Yoyo dieting continues. Its too hot to be this overweight but putting the effort into myself involved in dieting seems too hard sometimes. 

So I've decided to get through the next four weeks of writing to win my final Taming award, then start to try to write something original AS my taming each week. Maybe that way, I can ease my way back into writing without too much pressure? 

Easter Holidays are over

Some of the time it was brilliant. LM had her birthday party as well as a trip to the Midland Go Karting company to spend an hour driving laps like a lunatic in a go-kart. She loved it and was pretty good, if not a bit of a speed demon.

We went to Merry Hill shopping centre and walked around for ages - next time I need to (a) have some money and (b) plan the route better. LM had her ears pierced and everyone was good.

The rest of the time though, LM was a screaming pain in the butt and it made me feel so sad that her big sister came down to spend time with her and had to suffer through the abuse. But hey, I got to spend time with three of them which is special, very very special.

I have been playing Covet like a complete lunatic - finding out there are groups on FB where you can join simply to get access to more wardrobes by friending a lot of people - that was pretty darn cool! So now instead of having 6 friends, I have something like 128! And yes, I am borrowing from every wardrobe I can!

Tomorrow, the anthology Juicy Bits is released with my story in it, and maybe I'm a little bit scared that people will hate my contribution. Oh dear, that might explain the lack of closed-eyes!!

Writing-wise, I've kept up with my Taming the Muse and am on 193 weeks, writing at least 500 words per week. Sounds really impressive and in a way it is. Not so impressive when I consider that I haven't written anything original in over a month, possibly two. I can blame so many things but what it boils down to is that I need to get a grip on real life - whether it's accepting that this is how things are going to be and I need to work with it OR this is what I need to do to make things better - and just WRITE!

No more excuses - just WRITE.

Nearly 2 a.m. so time to log off and get some sleep. But tomorrow, I'm going to take my own advice.

End of the weekend

I've had a really good weekend, although I should get the bad news out of the way first.

It would appear that the CEO of Silver Publishing has done a runner, taking with him all of the royalties he owes the authors. Not going to go into too much detail here but I've received full rights to 'Alien Christmas' back and can pretty much kiss goodbye to any money owed to me. It's all a bit dramatic, traumatic and has left a bad taste in my mouth. I can only be relieved that I only had one story with them as there are other people who are out a great deal of money.

LM was dropped with her paternal grandparents on Friday so that she could be there for their 50th wedding anniversary party. She's also having a mini birthday party and spending some time at their church play scheme, so all in all, I think she's having a ball. A little strange for me as I have always been there for each of the kids' birthdays, so to let her go be with someone else on her 10th birthday - double digits at last - feels strange.

I collect her on Wednesday and basically from then on, it's going to be presents, mini party here with my side of the family, and all of her other presents e.g. go-karting experience, getting her ears pierced, cinema trip, etc.

MD and I went up to visit my sister in Cambridge and finally met the latest addition to the family, my Great Nephew. He's absolutely gorgeous with the most striking blue eyes I have ever seen!! I got to hold him and he even fell asleep on me - unfortunately, by the time MD got to hold him he seemed quite grumpy and wouldn't settle. Got to have a nice chat with sister and my Bil, who has said he'll take some photos for MD of her cake work as she's setting up a blog and hoping to go into business over the summer with her baking.

I'll put up links to her blog, etc when she's happy with how it looks.

Last but not least, I sent my galley proofs of '2 Weeks 6 Days 2 Long' to a couple of friends for honest review and got a reply today.

THIS IS A REALLY GREAT SHORT STORY!!! Seriously, you know how picky I can be when I put my mind to it, but this is ready to go as-is.

You hit a nice balance of background, family bonds, and hotness, which makes for an enjoyable and _marketable_ story. (Tougher to do in a short story than with a higher word count; this is nicely concise, yet fully fleshed-out).

I'm really chuffed as I value this person's opinion and she has always been very honest with me about what she thinks of what I've written. So if she likes it, then it's good!! I just hope other people share her opinion!!

I'm hoping that the next few days without LM will awaken my original muse and I can get some writing done.Here's hoping!

Juicy Bits Anthology on the Coming Soon Page.....

Out on 28th April, one of my stories is part of the Juicy Bits Anthology from Dreamspinner Press.

2 Weeks 6 Days 2 Long by S K Manganelli Matt’s partner Craig has been away on business for almost three weeks and he’s getting fed up with sleeping on his own. It seems he’s not the only one. Craig surprises him with an early return at a family get-together. Matt is even more amazed when Craig demonstrates how much he missed Matt, and that two weeks and six days are simply too long to be apart! Click the pretty to pre-order!

Procrastination is an art form....

...of which I seem to be a master. I can't even say that I don't have the idea in my head because I do - I have a rough outline of what I want to write, and approximately 1000 words already written. I just - can't seem to make myself write the next couple of thousand.

There's a deadline - 15th April - which is getting closer and closer, especially as I have to travel to take LM up to visit her grandparents; counselling appointments for LM; and hopefully visting family.

I've opened the word document, re-read what I've already written, pulled out the writing book with my notes - all set to get started. And now all I want to do is sleep, watch TV and read fanfic. It doesn't even need to be good fanfic - just pages and pages of something to focus on instead of writing.

Part of it is fear I think. The story is due out soon and I'm concerned about the reaction to it. I got seriously burned by Alien Christmas so can't help being anxious for this one. Add to that the fact that Silver Publishing is being taken over and I may never see the royalties from Alien Christmas - all of it just seems a bit overwhelming.

LM been screaming on and off for four hours because she was asked to sweep the (miniscule) hallway and I just want to put my head into a bucket of water and scream.

Hmmm, maybe it's not procrastination - maybe it's just plain old depression!

Second Edits and Mini Update

Very tired bunny here.

Today we went for the last part of MD's Christmas pressie - a make up and photo session for her and her alone. OMG, I wanted every single one of the piccies but I couldn't afford them.  They did her make up as 'glamourous' and I am going to be in SO much trouble when she decides to notice boys because she looked absolutely amazing!!

In the end, we managed to resist the sales pitch and just accept the two that were part of the package but it was seriously hard.  It also meant we didn't get home until after 10 p.m. which meant LM was hyper and way past her bedtime and me and MD are kinda zombie like.

So of course, I decided to do the second edits I received from Dreamspinner. I have found this set of edits much easier to deal with - whether it's because I wrote the story a long time ago (it was actually last September-ish time and I submitted it about three months early) so I have the distance to not take anything too personal, or I'm just better aware of what needs to be done to tighten a story up. Whatever it is, I've learnt a lot - I know about splices, how many Britishisms I use in my stories - I can recognise when I use the same word too many times. Yeah, definitely coping better. And of course I've already done them and sent them back.

I don't think it's that I'm not reading them properly or taking them seriously. I think it's just I can see quite clearly what they're saying, my brain seems happy to provide alternatives or explanations, so they whoosh by.  Whatever it is, I've more than made my 24th March deadline.

In other news, I bought a iPhone from eBay, at last using my birthday money. And typical of my luck, it was a complete dodo. The seller said the battery was on it's way out but that the phone worked fine. What they neglected to say was that the phone only works if it's plugged into a charger which hardly makes it 'mobile'. Cue a week of back and forth with seller, with them getting more and more irate with my refusal to accept the phone, calling me ignorant and accusing me of damaging the phone myself because I had changed my mind about wanting it.

It took a lot of walking away before replying so that I didn't get snotty back. I'm posting it back tomorrow and should get a full refund but have a case open with eBay just in case. And I found an alternative phone that comes with a year's warranty so hopefully that should be here tomorrow and I will finally have my birthday present.

I re-read the start of 'Good with his Hands' and am going to try to write it for the April 15th submission of 'Bears' at Dreamspinner. I've already completed my Taming the Muse for the week so time is free, apart from a parent meeting tomorrow morning about LM.

All in all, an interesting week - I've been a bit out of it in terms of light-headedness, feeling a bit sick, over-tired - but my back hasn't been too bad and my knees have stopped clicking although they are still swollen. God I sound like I should be put down!!

Overall a green day, and yeah me this makes two weeks of Atkins I've stuck to!! I think one of my chins is fading and I could sit down in my jeans without being cut in half so I shall see it as a success. Not quite the success of Kim Khardashian but not bad!

Over 4,000 words.....

.....and absolutely none of them were on the original WIPs they should have been. Sigh.

Of course, now I've finished both of my prompts for Taming the Muse, there is no reason why I can't work on something original now. So tomorrow, after I've finished the school run I am coming home and opening one of the WIPs - whether it be 'Good with his Hands', 'The Taming of Bren' or 'Anthemic'. Just - something original!!