Back from the Land of the Dead Muse

Yeah I know it's a bit dramatic but it does sum things up.

Life has been turbulent to say the least, and with ill health and other issues it has meant that my writing suffered. So much so, that for over a year I didn't really write anything.

But I'm back - sort of. I decided to rewrite something as Sterek Fanfiction and am on chapter 27. That sounds really impressive until you find out the first 23 chapters were already in draft form and just had to be smoothed out.

BUT I am writing again. And people are liking what I'm writing. So I'm feeling like that part of me is slowly coming back to life. Everything else is a pile of poop - think stroke, vertigo, migraines, sleep apnea and you have an idea of what the last six weeks have been like - so I am trying to find my silver lining. And hopefully writing is going to be it.

So anyway, this is where you can find the new story. It's called Seer and I did a little banner for it!

I will hopefully be updating the blog on the regular and definitely aiming to get this story finished.

P.S. am following my sibling's new blog about a detox she is following and you can see it at the following link: Forever

Can't believe it's August already!

Gonna have to go some if I want to try to hit any of the August submission dates. I don't think I'm going to make it - not unless I try to scrape something together which seems a tad self-defeating. Makes more sense to concentrate on finishing off my Taming submissions - 2 more weeks and I hit 4 years - and then look around at what various publishers are looking for.

In home news, the psychiatrist says LM has no psychological issues - they're all behavioural. Basically, she understands exactly what she shouldn't do - she just chooses to do it anyway. So back to the counsellor to see if we can get to the root of why she does the things she does. Sigh, I kinda knew it before the psychiatrist said it but still slightly deflating.

Went swimming this morning - told LM that I would try to teach her to swim a whole length of the pool without armbands. We had fun - although she doesn't seem to trust that she will float and panics a bit. I'm not sure we'll meet our goal but I know she had a good time which makes a nice change.  Of course, it was blissful whilst I was in there - weightless, able to move around easily. As soon as I made my way up the ladder, gravity hit me like a tonne of bricks and I am in agony.  The disabled showers at this centre are marvellous and I just sat there for a while, luxuriating in the hot water pounding against my back, but soon enough it was time to get out of there and driving home was torture. Have basically spent the rest of the day feeling like death warmed up, back stiff as a board and dreading doing it again. But we will - it's good exercise for me and her, and it's important that I stick to what I say I'll do.

So we have the new taming prompt : flail. If ever there was a prompt with Teen Wolf written all over it, this one is it. 

So maybe tonight I'll try to churn out the first story for the week and then there won't be such a rush.

Update, sort of

Its been nearly three months since I wrote anything on here.

• haven't written anything original since that time - I have stories that I could be working on but the Muse is completely suffocated by the stress that is living with LM;

• I am heading towards four years of writing at Taming the Muse over on Livejournal which is kinda freaking me out. It seems cowardly to be able to write fanfiction but not original stuff, but I guess it's easier? Because no one pays to read my fanfiction - if they don't like it, it didn't cost them a penny and generally speaking they don't feel the need to vent their spleen. The same cannot be said of published writing and I think I may be just a little bit too fragile for that at the moment;

• My Lady is unwell. No details but it scared/s me and I wake up sweating sometimes wondering what the frick frack I would do without her. I feel like such a chocolate teapot as last time we spoke on the phone, SHE was consoling ME! FML!   

• The insomnia is pretty darn horrific. I've been catching up with sleep during the day with LM at school but the holidays are here and I'm not going to be able to do that anymore. Nightmares that make me afraid to close my eyes so less than pleasant. I need to do something. Also seem to have caught this whole mind-revulsion thing caused by those images of lotus pods on facebook, etc - literally my whole body tingles and I can't close my eyes because they are all I can see. Ugh.

• Yoyo dieting continues. Its too hot to be this overweight but putting the effort into myself involved in dieting seems too hard sometimes. 

So I've decided to get through the next four weeks of writing to win my final Taming award, then start to try to write something original AS my taming each week. Maybe that way, I can ease my way back into writing without too much pressure? 

Easter Holidays are over

Some of the time it was brilliant. LM had her birthday party as well as a trip to the Midland Go Karting company to spend an hour driving laps like a lunatic in a go-kart. She loved it and was pretty good, if not a bit of a speed demon.

We went to Merry Hill shopping centre and walked around for ages - next time I need to (a) have some money and (b) plan the route better. LM had her ears pierced and everyone was good.

The rest of the time though, LM was a screaming pain in the butt and it made me feel so sad that her big sister came down to spend time with her and had to suffer through the abuse. But hey, I got to spend time with three of them which is special, very very special.

I have been playing Covet like a complete lunatic - finding out there are groups on FB where you can join simply to get access to more wardrobes by friending a lot of people - that was pretty darn cool! So now instead of having 6 friends, I have something like 128! And yes, I am borrowing from every wardrobe I can!

Tomorrow, the anthology Juicy Bits is released with my story in it, and maybe I'm a little bit scared that people will hate my contribution. Oh dear, that might explain the lack of closed-eyes!!

Writing-wise, I've kept up with my Taming the Muse and am on 193 weeks, writing at least 500 words per week. Sounds really impressive and in a way it is. Not so impressive when I consider that I haven't written anything original in over a month, possibly two. I can blame so many things but what it boils down to is that I need to get a grip on real life - whether it's accepting that this is how things are going to be and I need to work with it OR this is what I need to do to make things better - and just WRITE!

No more excuses - just WRITE.

Nearly 2 a.m. so time to log off and get some sleep. But tomorrow, I'm going to take my own advice.

End of the weekend

I've had a really good weekend, although I should get the bad news out of the way first.

It would appear that the CEO of Silver Publishing has done a runner, taking with him all of the royalties he owes the authors. Not going to go into too much detail here but I've received full rights to 'Alien Christmas' back and can pretty much kiss goodbye to any money owed to me. It's all a bit dramatic, traumatic and has left a bad taste in my mouth. I can only be relieved that I only had one story with them as there are other people who are out a great deal of money.

LM was dropped with her paternal grandparents on Friday so that she could be there for their 50th wedding anniversary party. She's also having a mini birthday party and spending some time at their church play scheme, so all in all, I think she's having a ball. A little strange for me as I have always been there for each of the kids' birthdays, so to let her go be with someone else on her 10th birthday - double digits at last - feels strange.

I collect her on Wednesday and basically from then on, it's going to be presents, mini party here with my side of the family, and all of her other presents e.g. go-karting experience, getting her ears pierced, cinema trip, etc.

MD and I went up to visit my sister in Cambridge and finally met the latest addition to the family, my Great Nephew. He's absolutely gorgeous with the most striking blue eyes I have ever seen!! I got to hold him and he even fell asleep on me - unfortunately, by the time MD got to hold him he seemed quite grumpy and wouldn't settle. Got to have a nice chat with sister and my Bil, who has said he'll take some photos for MD of her cake work as she's setting up a blog and hoping to go into business over the summer with her baking.

I'll put up links to her blog, etc when she's happy with how it looks.

Last but not least, I sent my galley proofs of '2 Weeks 6 Days 2 Long' to a couple of friends for honest review and got a reply today.

THIS IS A REALLY GREAT SHORT STORY!!! Seriously, you know how picky I can be when I put my mind to it, but this is ready to go as-is.

You hit a nice balance of background, family bonds, and hotness, which makes for an enjoyable and _marketable_ story. (Tougher to do in a short story than with a higher word count; this is nicely concise, yet fully fleshed-out).

I'm really chuffed as I value this person's opinion and she has always been very honest with me about what she thinks of what I've written. So if she likes it, then it's good!! I just hope other people share her opinion!!

I'm hoping that the next few days without LM will awaken my original muse and I can get some writing done.Here's hoping!

Juicy Bits Anthology on the Coming Soon Page.....

Out on 28th April, one of my stories is part of the Juicy Bits Anthology from Dreamspinner Press.

2 Weeks 6 Days 2 Long by S K Manganelli Matt’s partner Craig has been away on business for almost three weeks and he’s getting fed up with sleeping on his own. It seems he’s not the only one. Craig surprises him with an early return at a family get-together. Matt is even more amazed when Craig demonstrates how much he missed Matt, and that two weeks and six days are simply too long to be apart! Click the pretty to pre-order!

Procrastination is an art form....

...of which I seem to be a master. I can't even say that I don't have the idea in my head because I do - I have a rough outline of what I want to write, and approximately 1000 words already written. I just - can't seem to make myself write the next couple of thousand.

There's a deadline - 15th April - which is getting closer and closer, especially as I have to travel to take LM up to visit her grandparents; counselling appointments for LM; and hopefully visting family.

I've opened the word document, re-read what I've already written, pulled out the writing book with my notes - all set to get started. And now all I want to do is sleep, watch TV and read fanfic. It doesn't even need to be good fanfic - just pages and pages of something to focus on instead of writing.

Part of it is fear I think. The story is due out soon and I'm concerned about the reaction to it. I got seriously burned by Alien Christmas so can't help being anxious for this one. Add to that the fact that Silver Publishing is being taken over and I may never see the royalties from Alien Christmas - all of it just seems a bit overwhelming.

LM been screaming on and off for four hours because she was asked to sweep the (miniscule) hallway and I just want to put my head into a bucket of water and scream.

Hmmm, maybe it's not procrastination - maybe it's just plain old depression!